I AM STILL SO MAD

Having a child with a special need brings a lot of mixed emotions ....some emotions that seem to come upon you when you least expect or are aware of them. For the most part we have not had the sadness or grief that I think most parents experience because we chose her with this need and are so aware that without the need we also do not have her. Since the amputation of her foot I have been very sad about the operation and that it needed to be done for her future. We are convinced we did the right thing and yet are sad to see it done knowing that to feel anything else would be denying our humanness.

I AM STILL SO MAD ABOUT THIS INCIDENT:

Momma Bear in me just appeared the other day at the playground so bear with me while I vent. I'm guessing it was because it was the day before we were to travel to Shriner's Hosp. to have this darn cast that falls off at least once a day off FINALLY and I would be seeing her leg without a foot that probably set me off....but anyway I took the girls to the playground ....the ONE FOR DIFFERENTLY ABLED KIDS...ok...when I realized that the only thing Naomi could really do is swing. So I head over to the swings and see that there is one empty and just before getting there a child about 6 or so runs to the swing and gets in it....then his MOM proceeds to push him ( IN THE SWING FOR HANDICAPED CHILDREN )and another child who has now gone to sleep in another swing. She sees the entire thing and does NOTHING! So I just stand there thinking that surely one of the swings will open up in a few minutes while I survey the rest of the park thinking ....What else can she do? She cannot walk and crawling on this hot cement is out . Sandbox NO! Slide NO....because I cannot keep her from hitting bottom with her foot. Looking around I finally thought about the teeter totter, so we went in that direction but the whole time I kept my eye on the swings. We did that for a few minutes but she was restless and wanted to do something else and my arms were getting tired so we went back in the direction of the swings....sat on the bench for a while and just watched everyone playing and still keeping an eye on the swing and getting madder by the moment because the two moms could tell I was waiting for one of the swings. Now at this point I think they were determined that they were NOT letting them go just because I wanted/needed ONE .....did I say they had 4 between them....and they continued to push their children.

I just could not believe that they would not let one of the swings go and I kept saying to myself ....swinging is the ONLY thing she can do right now ...why would they act like this... And then it happened on the inside of me. Now, I normally had been telling people that asked about her leg that she had an operation because I just didn't feel like strangers need to know the details and people get all wierd reactions from saying she had her foot amputated. But this day as I sat inside the jungle gym thingy so she could at least play with some of the thingys another mom asked me about her leg and I said it JUST FOR THE REACTION! I was so mad at not being able to swing her and ya know I should have gone up to the two moms and said what I did JUST FOR THEIR REACTION so they could feel XXXX (not even printable) about the way they were hogging the swings. But, I did not.

Now all is not lost , because I know they went home thinking about ME and how THEY did not give up their swings until they were good and ready.

Our vist to Shriners on Monday went very well. We saw the prothesist and she was fitted with her new leg and foot . It is very real looking and is the same color as her skin because I wanted it to blend in and not clash with all her pretty dresses and outfits. I know some kids have different colors and designs especially boys, but next time if she wants something different we will do that. She did not want to put it on and would not stand up with it on either . She cried the entire time and I think was scared mostly. The foot part is so adorable and has real looking toenails . We keep asking her if she wants some new piggies....she says NO!....She'll get used to it. We go back July 6 to stay 5 days for therapy to use it. We are almost there!