I AM STILL SO MAD

Having a child with a special need brings a lot of mixed emotions ....some emotions that seem to come upon you when you least expect or are aware of them. For the most part we have not had the sadness or grief that I think most parents experience because we chose her with this need and are so aware that without the need we also do not have her. Since the amputation of her foot I have been very sad about the operation and that it needed to be done for her future. We are convinced we did the right thing and yet are sad to see it done knowing that to feel anything else would be denying our humanness.

I AM STILL SO MAD ABOUT THIS INCIDENT:

Momma Bear in me just appeared the other day at the playground so bear with me while I vent. I'm guessing it was because it was the day before we were to travel to Shriner's Hosp. to have this darn cast that falls off at least once a day off FINALLY and I would be seeing her leg without a foot that probably set me off....but anyway I took the girls to the playground ....the ONE FOR DIFFERENTLY ABLED KIDS...ok...when I realized that the only thing Naomi could really do is swing. So I head over to the swings and see that there is one empty and just before getting there a child about 6 or so runs to the swing and gets in it....then his MOM proceeds to push him ( IN THE SWING FOR HANDICAPED CHILDREN )and another child who has now gone to sleep in another swing. She sees the entire thing and does NOTHING! So I just stand there thinking that surely one of the swings will open up in a few minutes while I survey the rest of the park thinking ....What else can she do? She cannot walk and crawling on this hot cement is out . Sandbox NO! Slide NO....because I cannot keep her from hitting bottom with her foot. Looking around I finally thought about the teeter totter, so we went in that direction but the whole time I kept my eye on the swings. We did that for a few minutes but she was restless and wanted to do something else and my arms were getting tired so we went back in the direction of the swings....sat on the bench for a while and just watched everyone playing and still keeping an eye on the swing and getting madder by the moment because the two moms could tell I was waiting for one of the swings. Now at this point I think they were determined that they were NOT letting them go just because I wanted/needed ONE .....did I say they had 4 between them....and they continued to push their children.

I just could not believe that they would not let one of the swings go and I kept saying to myself ....swinging is the ONLY thing she can do right now ...why would they act like this... And then it happened on the inside of me. Now, I normally had been telling people that asked about her leg that she had an operation because I just didn't feel like strangers need to know the details and people get all wierd reactions from saying she had her foot amputated. But this day as I sat inside the jungle gym thingy so she could at least play with some of the thingys another mom asked me about her leg and I said it JUST FOR THE REACTION! I was so mad at not being able to swing her and ya know I should have gone up to the two moms and said what I did JUST FOR THEIR REACTION so they could feel XXXX (not even printable) about the way they were hogging the swings. But, I did not.

Now all is not lost , because I know they went home thinking about ME and how THEY did not give up their swings until they were good and ready.

Our vist to Shriners on Monday went very well. We saw the prothesist and she was fitted with her new leg and foot . It is very real looking and is the same color as her skin because I wanted it to blend in and not clash with all her pretty dresses and outfits. I know some kids have different colors and designs especially boys, but next time if she wants something different we will do that. She did not want to put it on and would not stand up with it on either . She cried the entire time and I think was scared mostly. The foot part is so adorable and has real looking toenails . We keep asking her if she wants some new piggies....she says NO!....She'll get used to it. We go back July 6 to stay 5 days for therapy to use it. We are almost there!

GOODBYE T-1

End of T-1 for Mia. She has grown and matured so much in this one year. We are so glad to have chosen Transitional First for her before her entrance into First grade. It gave her another year to mature and learn language. We have found both our girls need another year to master speech and language as they both came home from China as toddlers with their speech just emerging. Marissa will also go to T-1 as well...we feel...at this point. Some parents feel this extra year has implications of failure on either the child's or parents part but we welcome another year to mature and master school concepts in a non-pressured enviroment where they are nutured and not put in position of grading before they are ready. We so love the public school they attend and they get plenty of good attention to their speech needs. The teachers love my girls and for that I am so grateful. They will do well here.

SCHOOL'S OUT

End of preschool for Marissa. Ahhh! Wonderful memories of her preschool. Kindergarden here we come.

MY LITTLE TEA PARTY

We combined their birthdays this year to have a fabulous party at MY LITTLE TEA PARTY . A great time was had by all the little girls. They were all made up with make up and dress up clothes. They had their nails done and a fashion show. SO CUTE!

DENTIST VISIT

We've had alot going on in the past few weeks and so I'll post a little bit about each with pics. It looks like we will be at the hospital again with Marissa and her dentist as she seems to have several bad teeth that will need attention. We had to do this 2 years ago because she has such a phobia of Drs. and is not so cooperative. She also came home from China with weak teeth and so we are not surprised we need to go this route again. Actually getting her into this dentist chair is like a miracle to us. Just wish they could do what she needs without hospitalization. She loves these pictures of herself.

HARVEST

Just had to post these wonderful pictures of our tiny little garden and the blessing of watching plants grow and eating the fruit of our labors. DH has worked so hard and invested so much time in our little garden and we have some great memories .

Happy Girl is back

Our happy little girl is BACK!!!! She woke up this morning and ate a cup of yogurt and TWO pancakes, played in the playroom and took apart a picture frame from the foyer. You moms know how worried we get when our sweeties do not want to eat, play or tear something up. LOL She is still kinda clingy which is to be expected but feeling so much better.

Maybe a new hairdo will make me feel better

Feeling a little bit better but still not herself. She did eat and drink more today. We took her to the Ped. and no ear or throat infection and doesn't seem to be in pain from her incision, but still kinda listless and certainly wanting mom all the time. I guess it will take a few more days to bounce back. Thanks again for all the prayers and words of encouragement.

Sad little Face

Naomi is doing great physically and doesn't seem to be in any pain . But, she seems sad or depressed. She is not crawling much and is not her happy girl self. She keeps pointing to outside and wants to swing but when we go out she is cranky. We got a wagon this morning and maybe it will help to wheel her around in the yard. I am wondering if this is part of her grieving her independence and even the loss of her foot. I can imagine she doesn't understand it will be temperary; but we keep telling her she will get a new foot that works better. Sad to see her like this.

We're Home

Exhausted but glad to be home again. We are settling in and finding out just what Naomi can do in her cast. We were told she will likely crawl in her cast just don't let her try to bear weight . I guess we don't have to worry about her climbing cabinets for a while. She's sitting her just watching TV and playing with some toys. Thank you guys for praying for us. The trip home was a breeze. We go back in 3 weeks to have the cast removed and then a few weeks again to be fitted for her prothesis and then we will have a little stay to learn to walk again. We just cannot say enough good things about Shriners...from the way they cared for Naomi and us while we were there. A few before and after photos.